it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
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