By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I have fence marks all over my body
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
