Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
So many bounce houses so little time
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
