i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
