oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
