Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
