He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Randomize
