So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
