So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
