I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Randomize
