Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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