what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
