Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
