party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
