I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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