i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
