dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
