And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
