We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
