There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Randomize
