i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
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