Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
