That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
