If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
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