You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
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