Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
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