And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
