Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
