Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
