"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
