there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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