loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
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