Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
