Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
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