I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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