Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
i already hear my dad disowning me
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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