I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Randomize
