You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
