i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Sober January is a disaster.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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