and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Randomize
