I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
