I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
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