I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Randomize
