We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize