3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
