Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
