is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Randomize