Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
