Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
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