If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize
