i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
