He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
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