I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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