life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
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