she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
