i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
