I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Randomize
