he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
