Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
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