Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Buhtt sex?
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
