I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I'm experimenting with sincerity
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize