And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
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