The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
