I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
