Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
