God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
