You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I want a musical about memes.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize
