he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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