You can't special order awesome
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
