Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
