I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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